Inside the head of a Fat Ass Jogger...

I've mentioned before about my ADD while running on the treadmill, but now I want to take you inside my brain as I plodded along for half an hour last night.

I put on my running gear and hopped on the treadmill just after eight last night, with my Bravo on mute... and my ipod on my arm ready to play my *Couch to 5k* pod cast.

The run starts with walking ironically, a five minute warm up to make sure some overeager fat ass doesn't try to sprint off and tears a muscle.

So I'm walking, reading the closed captioning for "Launch My Line" while Chubby Jones plays bad techno music and gives me time cues. I mean seriously bad techno. Like worse than the "house" music they play on Jersey Shore.

The beat picks up and I know the first run is coming, so I pick up the pace and run at my goal pace for the interval. Then it's back to walking for a bit, then another interval, you get the picture.

The first few are fine, I run along at my pace, walk a good clip about 7 times before the brain starts to wander.

The blanket on the bed isn't spread out, so I hop off for a few seconds and straighten the bed. Ooh, and that picture needs to be straightened out and shoes in the closet. Back to running.

Bella starts whining at me a few minutes later, so I grab one of her toys from the closet and toss it down the hall, then again when she comes back. Back to running.

In my head I resolve no more detours and re-commit to this run. Techno music be damned I will keep going.

Luckily the podcast runner keeping my time is getting distracted, blathering on about her damn two breakfasts and brown rice lunch. So I feel less guilty about my minute long run detours.

Then, her tone changes and the last two runs are about to start. Challenge yourself she says, really push for these last two runs. What the fuck does she think I've been doing the last half hour?

Whatever. When it comes time to the last run I up the treadmill speed and take off, my breathing faster as I start counting down the minutes till it's time for the cooling walk.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1... counting down every time my left foot hits the treadmill.. and I'm done.

The room cleaner and myself sweatier. Okay... let's do it all again tomorrow.