Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Noted While Stripping

 I didn't run this week.  There will be a lovely blog about my Route 66 Marathon Failure.  But today we're all about stripping.  Here's some observations.

Firstly, I'm still working on Routine 1 from Carmen Electra's Strippercize.  I'll do Routine 2 next week.

-The secret to being sexy is you.  So Carmen wants me to add my personality to the stripping.  I don't know how sarcasm will help me get tips.  Or trips to the Champagne Room.

-The irony that I'm doing fake stripping in hot pink running pants and an old ORU shirt is not lost on me.

-When I'm bent over in the mid crawl Bella will run up and give me a kiss and then run away.  Mems says if I do that on a bar men will do the same thing.  But they'll just lick my face.

-Stripping is hard.  My abs hurt from the constant sucking in my gut and my hips popped like 4 times in various moves.

-I took a break to watch Jennifer "Baby" Grey dance on DWTS with Mems.   She asked what I was doing and I told her I was an excellent stripper. 

-Her response: "I'm glad you're finally good at something."

-I thought there'd be more boob shimmying.

-If I wanted to I think I'm 30 pounds away from real stripperdom.  Tulsa strip bars aren't picky.
-Stripping really does work everthing.  My the body roll made my abs burn... the dips boost your butt.  Everything but my arms.  I may need to learn to work a pole to work my arms.  (That's what she said.)

-Mems said she and my mom will come support me.  But they're not putting money in G-strings.  Well, at least not mine.

-I have no rhythm.