Noted While Stripping

 I didn't run this week.  There will be a lovely blog about my Route 66 Marathon Failure.  But today we're all about stripping.  Here's some observations.

Firstly, I'm still working on Routine 1 from Carmen Electra's Strippercize.  I'll do Routine 2 next week.

-The secret to being sexy is you.  So Carmen wants me to add my personality to the stripping.  I don't know how sarcasm will help me get tips.  Or trips to the Champagne Room.

-The irony that I'm doing fake stripping in hot pink running pants and an old ORU shirt is not lost on me.

-When I'm bent over in the mid crawl Bella will run up and give me a kiss and then run away.  Mems says if I do that on a bar men will do the same thing.  But they'll just lick my face.

-Stripping is hard.  My abs hurt from the constant sucking in my gut and my hips popped like 4 times in various moves.

-I took a break to watch Jennifer "Baby" Grey dance on DWTS with Mems.   She asked what I was doing and I told her I was an excellent stripper. 

-Her response: "I'm glad you're finally good at something."

-I thought there'd be more boob shimmying.

-If I wanted to I think I'm 30 pounds away from real stripperdom.  Tulsa strip bars aren't picky.
-Stripping really does work everthing.  My the body roll made my abs burn... the dips boost your butt.  Everything but my arms.  I may need to learn to work a pole to work my arms.  (That's what she said.)

-Mems said she and my mom will come support me.  But they're not putting money in G-strings.  Well, at least not mine.

-I have no rhythm.

Noted While Running

Some pants should be saved for the gym.  Especially my cute green running pants.  I wore them for my Monday morning run and mooned at least one house before finishing my run holding my pants up. 

The perfect Pandora station is essential for running.  I've discovered Pink, Katy Perry and Bon Jovi are the best.  This also leads to me running around the track by my house scream/singing about my Teenage Dreams and Skintight Jeans.

Sports Bras are an amazingly important part of running.  And I need a new one.

No matter how much I run my form is not getting better.  I still run like a 5 year old trying to get away from a bully.

Mems doesn't want me to arm myself.  One night she suggested buying me some mace to use on my dark early morning runs.  When I responded "That'd be fun!" She changed her mind.

The more I run the more I want to run.  I make myself only do it every other day because of a bum knee, but I was really disappointed when I woke up and saw the rain and lightning so I couldn't hit the park.  The treadmill just isn't the same.

I'm excited about the Route 66 5k.  I feel more confident about running it than I ever have and am really hoping to run my fastest 5k.  By the way my fastest 5k is probably everyone else's slowest 5k. I run slow and I don't care.  Suck it.

I can run farther now than I did.  I like to do intervals and the more mornings I drag myself to the park to do them... the longer my intervals are... I went from short sprints to long stretches running from park bench to park bench for my three laps. 

So... and this may be cause I'm in the running zone... but if the 5k goes well... I may need to start training to run a longer distance in the next run. 

But I reserve the right to deny ever having typed this.