Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Tight Buns and Black Roots

My mind wanders while I'm at the gym. And honestly almost all the time.

This morning I had just started a pre-programmed workout and my glutes and quads were on fire, I imagined every step was one closer to a coveted tight ass.

So I ignored the pain and stared at the row of TV screens ahead of me. I'm not listening to any program... instead wearing an ipod. The screens are standard gym fair. Two TVs are on various local TV morning news (neither the station I work for) One is on ESPN and one is on the in house psuedo MTV with some seriously lame videos.

I'm closest to the TV showing Good Morning America and I glance up to see a shot of Oprah and some blonde woman with seriously bad roots. Like an inch of blackness. So I'm huffing and puffing my ass off staring intently at this TV trying to figure out who the hell is deluded enough to go on Oprah without making any attempt to cover her roots. Finally, a super pops up "Rielle Hunter Sits Down With Oprah"... realization dawns on me and I roll my eyes.

First at Hunter for being one of the most self-deluded people on the planet... then at Oprah for giving her a stage to speak on.. I mean really does she have anything of substance to say?

GMA loses my interest and I still have 20 minutes of sweating to do. Turning my head slightly I'm watching the Today show... and they're talking all about Sandra Bullock's divorce and new baby. Now while I was just as pissed as the rest of America when Jesse James fucked over America's sweetheart... I'm not sure I need an entire segment about her divorce and adoption. It was 7 in the morning... I was looking for actual news.

Turn my head again and stare at the music videos... this is not the cream of the video crop. Some old Kylie Minogue videos... and the same Pussycat Doll video. I suppose looking at the hot bodies of these artists is supposed to inspire people to work out harder... it would just make me want to leave the gym fast to listen to them ad nauseum.

As I'm sitting there contemplating what vault they pulled these videos out of when the ellpitical beeps... and my workout is over.

THe gym is the one time my inane commentary in my head is beneficial. Before you ask... yes shit like this is constantly going through my head.

I probably need to be medicated.


  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. Hey, "Lose Weight Fast" commenter, go fuck yourself.

    Kate, hilarious as always. And I hear that people who have serious problems with wandering minds are the best in bed. Congratulations.

  3. When I used to go to the gym, oh so long ago, these are exactly the type of things that would go through my head. Ahhhh, if only we could blog while on the treadmill. Think of the great posts we would have!

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