Since my fat jeans are now too loose and look much worse than they used to look, and my fat ass still can't fit into my skinny jeans I decided to go jean shopping. I know, shoot me now.
Let's talk about the abject horror that is jean shopping.
I started at Macy's, they were having a big sale and had some 10 dollar jeans. Feeling thin I grabbed a pair a size smaller than my fat jeans and headed to the dressing room.
Now we've established I hate dressing rooms ... so I took this one with a grain of salt.
What I did not take with a grain of salt was the jeans not fitting, even after I went up 3 sizes they never fit. I gave up, figured Macy's is just one of those places sized for stick people.
But it wore me down. I made my next stop at Old Navy and grabbed two pairs of jeans, one the size of my fat jeans and one a size smaller. But I refused to try them on, just bought them both and they are sitting in a bag in the floor of my room.
One day when I've overcome the trauma of the Macy's jean-sizing failure I'll put a pair on and keep the ones that don't make my fat ass look bigger.
Or I'll just refuse to wear jeans ever again and live the rest of my life in sweats.